One day an old man, who had been stranded on a deserted island for over ten years sees an unusual speck on the horizon.
“It’s certainly not a ship”, he thinks to himself.
As the speck gets closer and closer he begins to rule out the possibilities of a small boat, then even a raft.
Suddenly, emerging from the surf comes a gorgeous woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear.
She approaches the old man and says,
“Tell me, how long has it been since you’ve had a cigarette?”
“Ten years,” replies Johnny.
With that, she reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of cigarettes.
He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says,
“Man, oh man! Is that good!!”
“And how long has it been since you’ve had a sip of bourbon?” she asks him.
Trembling old man replies, “Ten years.”
She reaches over, unzips her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and hands it to him.
He opens the flask, takes a long swig and says,
“WOW, that’s absolutely fantastic!”
At this point, she starts slowly unzipping the long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit, looks at the old man seductively, and asks,
“And how long has it been since you’ve played around?”
With tears in his eyes, the old man falls to his knees and sobs,
“Oh, good Lord! Don’t tell me you’ve got golf clubs in there too?”