A police officer stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.
“But officer,” the man began, “I can explain.”
“Just be quiet,” snapped the officer.
I’m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.”
“But, officer, I just wanted to say,” “And I said to keep quiet! You’re going to jail!”
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, “Lucky for you that the chief’s at his daughter’s wedding… He’ll be in a good mood when he gets back.”
“Don’t count on it,” answered the fellow in the cell. “I’m the groom.”
New Joke : This woman wasn’t feeling well
This woman wasn’t feeling well, so she went to see the family doctor.
After hearing her symptoms the doctor scheduled her for a complete physical.
Next Day she returned to get the results.
The doctor tells her that everything came back normal.
He asks, “How’s your appetite?”
She replied, “Great! I eat like a horse.”
He then asks, “Do you sleep well?”
“About 8 hours a night,” she said.
“How about your bowels?” he asks.
“I go every morning about 7:20 AM” she replied.
The doctor thinks a minute then says, “There’s something going on that I can’t put my finger on.
I’m going to give you an antibiotic and see if that will cure the problem.”
There are three germs inside are listening to all of this and one of them says, “What are we going to do?”
One says, “I think I’ll hide in the liver.”
A second one says, “I think I’ll hide in a kidney.”
The last one says, “You guys can stick around if you want to, but I’m taking the 7:20 out of here.”